


Daniel has never been to Disney World

by flashwitch



Category: Stargate: SG-1
Genre: D. Jackson, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-12
Updated: 2010-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-13 15:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashwitch/pseuds/flashwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel has never been to Disney World. Jack decides to fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daniel has never been to Disney World

**Author's Note:**

> **Daniel has never been to Disney World.**
> 
> * * *
> 
> Set partway through season three because that's where the reruns were when I wrote this. If I have to specify, set directly after Points Of View. Warning: possible hints of slash, but you have to squint. Spoilers for any episodes pre-Point of View.

**I do not own SG1. If I did, Daniel would be shirtless a lot more and Jack wouldn't be dumb!Jack, and Sam wouldn't be making moo eyes at Jack.**

 **This is written from Jack's perspective.**

 

* * *

It came out just after Janet had adopted Cassie. I was going on about the rules for an Earth kid. The rule that said every kid must own a dog. The rule that said every kid must laugh at least once a day. The rule that said every kid should go to Disney World.

"I've never been to Disney World." God, he'd said it so quietly! I shut up fast then. I realised that he'd probably never had any of the other stuff that I'd been going on about either. His childhood hadn't exactly been ideal, had it? Open mouth, insert foot. Well done, O'Neill.

"Nor have I, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said serenely. Cassie had looked at us all like we were mad, especially as Carter gave her a big hug for no apparent reason.

I'm not sure exactly when we decided to do it. I know it came up again when we were talking about exposing Teal'c to more Earth culture. I think it became serious when we got the General involved. He loves Danny as much as we all do. I wasn't even sure what I was going to say until I was already in Hammond's office. _Gee, sir, Daniel's never been to Disney World, neither has Teal'c. Will you give us some time off to go meet Mickey Mouse?_ I don't think so. It turned out; all I had to say was that I was worried about Daniel. We'd had yet another tough mission, and Danny, being Danny, was going without sleep and living on caffeine alone. Janet had already been by to see the General, bless her heart. Apparently she was also worried about me and Sam. Yeah, we're a little run down but... A team vacation, sir? Well, maybe we could use a week fishing... but it's not really a team vacation without... that's right sir. What? He doesn't like fishing sir? No, that can't be right. Well, I'll talk it over with them see if we can decide on a suitable location...two whole weeks of downtime! All right!

After that, you would have thought it would be easy enough, right? Wrong.

"But Jaaaaack! I have so many translations to do!"

"But Jaaaaaaaaack! My artefacts!"

"But Jaaaaaaack! Who's going to feed my fish!"

Most annoying thing in the world is a whiny archaeologist who hasn't slept in over a week. I just told him it was an enforced medical leave. He went to complain to the Doc. She stood her ground. And made me promise to bring her back some Minnie Mouse ears. I did suggest she and Cassie come along, but it's in school time. Sadly, Daniel then went to complain to the General. I sent Carter to head him off at the pass while I let the General know to prepare for Hurricane Daniel. Jesus, why couldn't he be grateful of some time off like a normal person?

"Daniel, come on!" I dragged him to my place when we had finally got it through his thick skull he wasn't getting out of taking some time off. Carter had already made the travel arrangements and I'd taken Daniel by his place to pack a bag.

"Jack, look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm fine really."

"What? Daniel, the whole point of this is for Teal'c. He wants to experience as much earth culture as possible. As for the whole team going, that's for me. I feel like we... disconnected recently." It's true. I've been drawing away from my friends. After the whole Hathor thing, I kind of needed some space, and it's just been one thing after another since then. I mean, Daniel went crazy, and then those poor kids, (that brought back some bad memories let me tell you) and even seeing Kowalski again. "I just thought that we could use our medical downtime to reconnect." I look at him with a shrug then look away quickly. Going right for the guilt.

"Okay, Jack. You win. I'll come along quietly. It would help though if you would tell me where we're going..."

"The happiest place on Earth, Daniel. The happiest place on Earth."

 

* * *

The look on his face when we walked right down the middle of Main Street USA was worth it. The way he lit up when we saw the castle. In some ways he is just like a kid. Innocent, even after all the crap he's gone through. Carter was grinning and looking indulgent as he pulled her along, to look in all the shop windows. I had a map out and was trying to figure out the best way to go around the park without missing anything. Daniel had already made fun of me for looking at a vacation like it's a mission. I have a plan of action for each day. I'm prepared that's all. Not anal at all. And Teal'c is just looking around at everything with a raised eyebrow and vague confusion.

"Jack!"

"Yeah, Danny?"  
"Look! It's Mickey!"

Okay. Maybe we should have warned Teal'c about the characters. How the hell did he smuggle a Zat in for crying out loud? He tried to kill Mickey. Can't say I blame him really. I mean when you think about it, those costumes are kind of like the Jaffa armour. He thought Mickey was an Apophis mouse head guard or something. We're just lucky that the outfit absorbed the blast. And who had to stop the kids crying? Yours truly. Daniel was busy having hysterics while trying to explain to Teal'c, who looked more confused by the second, and Carter was reassuring the guy in the suit, who'd been knocked on his ass.

Well, that's a good half an hour gone.

Great idea, Jack, day two we take the Anthropologist to Epcot. Daniel hasn't stopped complaining about the stereotypes and mistakes the whole time. Teal'c did seem more relaxed here though. I think Norway was the worst. Sam literally had to drag the kid... not a kid. Have to keep reminding myself. So, Carter dragged the ki- Daniel away from Norway after he started yelling and ranting. She's good with him. She distracted him with joking about all the stuff in the shop. They really are like brother and sister. It's so cute. Although, maybe that wasn't the worst. The worst was probably when I insisted we went on the Three Caballeros Boat Ride. Daniel was complaining away about the architecture of the temple. Teal'c was stone faced, until he saw the cartoon Donald and then he looked like he wished he had that Zat still.

Days 3, 4 and 5 were all spent at Animal Kingdom. Carter went on and on about the damn Tree of Life. Teal'c liked that as well. Daniel was obsessed with all the animals, so all my kids were happy. We went to the Rainforest Cafe to eat and Daniel got this ridiculous slush drink that was multi-coloured and came with a souvenir cup. And a toy. I don't think he really knew what he was ordering but I couldn't stop laughing. Then Carter kept going for the gun she didn't bring with her every time the animatronic animals moved, or the thunder storms (every 20 minutes, for crying out loud!) went off. The best bit though, was when Teal'c ordered this giant chocolate cake thing for dessert. The waiter, his name was Dave and he was very nice, brought it over yelling "Vooooolllllcaaaaaanoooooo!" and he had about three or four minions following him saying "Vooooolllllcaaaaaanoooooo!" and clapping their hands. Teal'c managed to eat the whole thing by himself. Daniel's eyes got big as saucers! Then he and Carter kept giggling to each other when they were out in the shop part of the cafe. There was a talking tree which I found slightly disturbing, but seemed to be the cause of their laughter.

We went on Everest as well. That was cool. Although, Daniel threw up afterwards. And Teal'c reached for the Zat we took off him when the Yeti showed up. (What the-? He actually pulled the weapon! How did he get that back?) Carter seemed to enjoy herself though. And Daniel insisted he was fine. Although, he did make me buy him an ice cream afterwards to make up for the one he lost after the roller coaster.

Then we went on the safari. I really enjoyed that. The guide was funny and we got up close and personal with the animals. I mean I could actually reach out and touch a giraffe. But the look on Daniel's face was the best bit. God, how sappy am I?

 

* * *

We went back to the Magic Kingdom for the next couple of days, just taking a leisurely time wandering around, in and out of the shops, riding the rides. Then we saw it. It was for sale in the shop beside Pinocchio's Village Haus.

  
"Colonel!" Carter had hissed, waving him over. Daniel was currently occupied with explaining the story of the puppet who'd wanted to be a real boy to Teal'c, so I went over to see what she wanted.

"Carter?"

"Look." She pointed, glancing back at Daniel.

She was pointing to one of those pin badges that the kids all had. They were going around trading them. As soon as I saw it I knew what she wanted. I nodded.

"Carter, got a mission for you." I told her as I picked the badge down from the shelf. She glanced back at Daniel and grinned suddenly.

"Understood, sir." She went over and started asking Daniel about something archaeological.

* * *

Typical. I take my eyes off him for one second. One second! Okay, calm down O'Neill, he's a grown man and we're in Disney World of all places. Nothing is going to happen. But what if there was a Goa'uld here? Seth was on Earth for hundreds of years and...Don't go there. You know what he's like, he probably got distracted by something shiny and wandered off.

"Sir? Where could he have gone?" Carter asked, biting her lower lip.

"I shall find him O'Neill." Teal'c reassured me. We were all looking around us frantically. He had been right behind us. I know he had because we all got off the damn ride at the same time. Then there was a big crowd. And then he was gone. And now we were trapped behind some stupid piece of rope waiting for a parade to pass by before we could even find him! And there was a sadistic woman in uniform stopping us from going to find him. Sure, she'd been all sympathetic when we said we'd lost our Danny. She asked all the right questions and had been on her radio to a friend. Then she asked how old he was.

"34." I replied and she looked at me as if I had gone nuts.

"Is... is he special?" She asked carefully and I was outraged.

"NO! He has three doctorates for crying out loud!"

"Then, sir, I think he is more than capable of walking around a theme park by himself. I'm sure if you just stay put, or maybe retrace your steps you'll find him just fine."

So, there I was, going out of my mind with worry, unable to get back to where we'd lost him due to the damn parade. Carter was looking nervous, but I don't know how much of that was about me going apparently insane, rather than about Daniel being separated for all of five minutes. Teal'c was...well he was Teal'c. Difficult to read.

 _God, I really need to think about the way I treat Daniel_. I considered as the parade went by, ever so slowly. _I feel just the same way as I did when we lost Charlie._ That had been a bad day. He was only seven and he'd been so scared when he'd gotten lost. And I was panicking thinking some pervert had kidnapped him. That had been at Disney World too. One of the few vacations I'd managed to go on with them. I hadn't thought about that when I'd suggested this as trip. How much of this was really for Danny and how much was me reliving the past?

Finally, the parade was gone and we raced across to find Daniel. He was at the back of the crowd on the other side and he was being harassed... I mean talking to a very attractive young woman.  
"Daniel! Where the hell did you get to?"

"Jack! Hey." He offered. "I think I should be asking you that."

"What! You were the one who wandered off... again! Do you know how worried I was? Do you have any idea?"

"Jack, calm down. We're in Disney World. What could happen? Anyway, I was right here."

"Sir..." Carter tried.

"O'Neill." Teal'c added. Both annoyed that I was treating Danny like a kid.

"You can't just wander off like that! What if something happened?"

"Jack, I'm 34 years old! Stop treating me like a damn kid!"

"Daniel, you've been acting like a 'damn kid' since we got you here!" Shit. Why did I say that? And now the nice girl Danny was chatting up is leaving. Good. Wait. Did I just think Good? Well, of course, I mean, Danny wouldn't have even noticed she was flirting. And he's a married man. She was just a hussy. But... oh, wait, kind of in the middle of something here. Analyse later, look after Danny now. And Daniel's eyes have gone all wide and vulnerable. Shit. "Sorry. That was out of line. I didn't mean it." I glance back at Carter and Teal'c. They take the hint and back off.

"Jack?" He asked sounding so sad. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I was right behind you, really, but then that big crowd got between us, and when it was gone, you'd left me behind. I know I've been acting childish. I'll stop." He looked down at the floor.

"Daniel." No response. "Look at me, dammit." He doesn't. "Danny, I was worried. How many times have you been attacked or kidnapped or hurt back home? Well, here there's no mountain full of marines and highly trained air force officers and medical personnel to help out. If something happens here, God forbid, then we're on our own. And none of that occurred to me until I turned around and you weren't there. What if the NID had grabbed you? What could I have done?"

"Jack, come on. I don't think they followed us to Disney World."

"Why not? It presents the perfect opportunity. I should have thought of that. Should have been keeping an eye on you." My turn to stare at the ground. "As for the childish thing... I like it. I'm glad that you're having fun. You don't get enough fun."

"Well, you definitely over-reacted, that's for sure." I smile as I hear the beginnings of forgiveness in his tone. "But that's not all is it? You've been treating me more like a kid than normal, and yeah, I have to admit it was kind of nice not to have to worry, but I can take care of myself. Now, what's going on with you really?"

"The last time I was here was with Charlie and Sara. It was about a year before..." I just come out and say it.

"God, Jack, I'm Sorry. I should have known. You don't have to tell me..."

"No. I think I want to. It was mostly good memories. Except when he wandered off and got lost." Daniel flinches and looks up at me all big eyes. So, I say; "How about we ditch T and Carter and go and find a bar and get drunk and talk about how screwed up we are?"

"Love a man with a plan." Danny grins.

* * *

We went to Kennedy Space Centre the next day. It was fun, yeah, but... me and Danny were hung-over. Teal'c was bored. He was interested in the cultural and historical significance, getting Daniel to explain everything to him, but he saw our rockets as hopelessly outdated. He's right. As for me and Carter, we'd both been here before, separately, on official business, and I have to say that the parts you don't get to tour are a lot more interesting than those you do. I mean, there's this big hanger, they call it the 'Vehicle Assembly Building', and it has some ships we'd commandeered from the Goa'uld in there and a lot of other cool stuff. That took the full day. We also had lunch with a 'real astronaut'. That was fun and he was a heck of a nice guy, but we couldn't help bursting out laughing at some of the stuff he was saying. I mean! He made such a big deal about the fact that he'd been up in a shuttle I was desperate to say, 'yeah, well I've been to another galaxy! I've walked on countless new planets and I've met aliens.' When the guy fielded questions, Daniel put on his best 'innocent' look and raised his hand. I knew he was going to get us in trouble.

"Yes? You there with the glasses." Daniel smirked as he lowered his hand.

"As someone who has actually been up into space, what do you think about the possibility of extra terrestrial life?" For Crying out Loud! I almost choked on my soda! Carter had gone very red in the face and Teal'c had raised his eyebrow in that quizzical way of his. And Daniel? Still the picture of innocence! Butter wouldn't melt.

"Well, I think that anything is possible, and there are a hell of a lot of stars out there. To think we're the only life is arrogant. But do I believe in little green men, abductions and the Roswell Greys? No."

"Thank you." Daniel replied with a grin.

"Indeed." Teal'c added. Oh well, he was wearing his hat and at least the astronaut hadn't tried to tell us that there was no such thing as aliens. The rest of the meal was fairly harmless, except for the food itself. MRE's tasted better. Oh, and Carter yelled at the poor guy when he messed up on a physics question a six year old asked about space travel. Yep, fun times.

In the shop, we did a kind of round robin of presents for each other. Daniel bought Teal'c a NASA cap, to cover his Tat in style. Teal'c bought Carter a t-shirt that said 'does this shirt make me look weightless?' which made us all smile. Although, I don't think T got the joke. Then Carter bought me a few packs of freeze dried space ice cream. I promised to bring some on our next mission to add some fun to the MRE's. So, that left me to buy something for Danny. I couldn't resist! Space Monkey! Yeah!

* * *

The day after next, we spent at a water park. It was brilliant. I do have to say we had a bit of a hard time as Daniel and Carter wouldn't go if we all couldn't go and Teal'c couldn't go without revealing his symbiote. But then we went to the mall for the day. (That's why I skipped one. BORING.) And we saw this swimming costume that would let Teal'c have fun without giving Junior away. Well, he had to wear a swimming hat too, to cover up the tattoo, but he still got to go on all the slides. I saw him give an honest to God grin. One of the scariest things I've seen in my life. But I'm glad the guy was having fun. We went on everything and it was great to here everyone just laughing. I mean real unrestrained laughter just because. We needed this. Really, by God, needed it. We were slipping away from each other more than we realised.

We went around Disney Studios the next day. That was really cool. The whole place was set up like a fifties town. It was mostly shops. So, we spent the day buying gifts for people back home. I'm sure the General will love his Mickey ears. We went on the Great Movie Ride next, which was amazing. My highlight of the day. The ride is narrated by a tour guide who was chased off by a mobster as you go through various famous movies. Sadly, I had to explain what most of the films were to Danny, and when we got to the Alien segment Teal'c reached for that damn Zat again. I don't want to know where he was hiding it. But at least he didn't shoot anything this time. Daniel started ranting when we got to the Indiana Jones segment. He always hated those movies. He once told me the first time he saw it he was tossed out of the cinema. He insists that no real archaeologist would behave the way Jones does, and how inaccurate it is. When we passed through the Wizard of Oz, the kids all looked at me. Well, it is one of my favourite films. And we followed the yellow brick road out of there.

I insisted we went on Star Tours next, although they all complained.

"But, Sir!" Carter moaned. "We live that every day of our lives!"

"Yeah, Jack. And I thought you hadn't even seen the Star Wars movies?" Daniel added. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. He loves those films.

"You know me and Sci fi. But it's one of the most talked about rides. I want to know what I'm missing." It was actually quite fun. Especially as during the entire queue line, Teal'c filled us in on his theory of the film.

"Daniel Jackson would be Luke Skywalker. Samantha Carter would be Leia Skywalker."

"So, we're brother and sister?" Daniel asked, and Carter wrinkled her nose.

"Indeed." Teal'c replied. "O'Neill would be Han Solo." I grinned at that. I may have not seen the films, but I know enough about them to know a compliment when I hear it. Hey, wait, why are Carter and Daniel laughing? "And I would be the Wookie, Chewbacca. He is a noble warrior. Apophis is Darth Vader."

"Sorry, that's just creepy. It would make him our dad." Daniel mock shuddered.

"Who else?" Sam asked, getting into it.

"Sergeants Harriman and Siler would be C3P0 and R2-D2." Teal'c finished with a rare smile. The ride itself was a simulator that was okay, and the images were good, but we've really been in a fire-fight in a space ship. So, not so cool.

* * *

The next day, we went back to the Magic Kingdom. Daniel dragged us all onto Pirates of the Caribbean. It was actually really quite good, although I complained the whole time. Have to keep up the image. But it was when Carter insisted we ride a second time that my worst nightmare came true. The boat just stopped. We were at the bit where there's a jail and a dog with keys in its mouth. And the boat just froze there, the boat ahead of us kept going, which shouldn't happen, and the boat behind us rammed us. I didn't like this one bit.

That's when the rest of the people in our boat pulled guns. They were NID and they were here to take us captive. They had some Goa'uld technology and they needed Carter and Daniel to make it work.

"Not going to happen." I informed. They wanted us to get out of the boat and walk through the water, which was only a few inches deep, to the emergency exit, where they had back up.

"You're kidding right?" Daniel asked incredulously. "Do we look that stupid?" That's when I realised I could die in a boat surrounded by singing pirates. Luckily, Teal'c pulled a Zat from somewhere. And another one. And two more. I have no idea where he's been keeping them. They searched our bags before they let us in, for crying out loud! He hands us all one each and we Zat the bad guys in unison. Then Zat the bad guys behind them.

"Carter? Want to see if you can get this boat started again?" She nodded and leaned down to get to the mechanism under the front of the boat, and we finished the rest of the ride in peace. I had to call Hammond and let him know the NID was after our resident geniuses. He wanted us on the first plane out of there and I said we would... right after we'd been on the Haunted Mansion. That was great. Really great. Just creepy enough. Carter squealed like... well, like someone whose reproductive organs are on the inside rather than the outside. And Daniel jumped a foot at one point. And as for me, I _did not_ squeal or yell or jump. Especially not at the bit in the graveyard.

* * *

We headed back to the hotel to pack quickly and went over to the airport where a military jet was being rerouted for us. I noticed that Daniel was being too quiet and was defensively self hugging.

"You okay?" I asked, bumping shoulders with him. He didn't answer. "Look, I'm sorry the vacation is being cut short, but you know we can't stay when the NID is here after you..."

"Jack, it's not that! The holiday has been great, it doesn't matter that we're heading back a day or so early. It's still the best holiday I've had in a long time."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Am I a liability?"

"WHAT?"

"Well, I act like a kid, I'm not military, I can't even go around Disney World without getting lost. And the NID were after me and Sam. Now Sam can handle herself, but I'm the easy one to get." He frowned. "I mean, what am I even doing on the team? I know I kind of forced my way into it..."

"Stop right there. You can handle yourself now. You're getting better at hand to hand and you have a record on the range that would make a sharpshooter worried. Yes you got lost, but that's because you shouldn't have to worry about stuff like the NID when you're on holiday. That's what I'm for. You are in no way shape or form a liability. If I didn't want you on my team, you wouldn't be on it." I paused to make sure he got the picture. "Without you, we wouldn't have had contact with half the races we've met. You're our communicator, our negotiator. Without you, this team falls apart. Nem proved that." I realise what I have to do. "Look, I was going to give you this when we got home, when Frasier and Hammond could see, but I think I need to do it now. Carter!" She and Teal'c had retreated to a discreet distance when we got all serious. They came back over when I yelled.

"Sir?"

"Mission Cricket is a go."

"Yes Sir!" She grinned and rummaged in her hand luggage. I'd given it to her for safe keeping. She presented it to me and I turned to my best friend.

"Dr Daniel Jackson, I would like to present to you on behalf of this team, and the SGC, this medal." It was a small thing, gold and green, with two words inscribed on the front.

" _Official Conscience."_

I pinned it on his chest pocket as he stared at me, unsure of what to say. He looked down and tilted the badge so he could read it and burst out laughing. He looked at me.

"It's true." I told him. "You are. We need you. I need you. To stop me from blowing everyone up." I threw in a reference to our first mission and I saw his eyes grow serious. He nodded once and I hugged him, pounding his back. Then Carter hugged him. And Teal'c did one of those warrior handshakes. My team was back.

 _(Writer's note. All rides, gifts and locations are real, as of my recent trip to Florida. The Jiminy Cricket Official Conscience pin badge, was so Daniel, I couldn't resist.)_


End file.
